My Life Since December 2017: A Brief Overview

In late-2017 I was caught flat-footed when I was laid off from my job at CBS. I had recently passed the one year mark, felt like I was really hitting my stride, and had just agreed to move all our belongings for the second time in almost two years. This move was because Nicole and I extended our lease for a couple years with our landlord by taking the top floor unit, assuming we’d be in the city for at least that long.

I should have been shocked that I was being let go, but the reality was I knew they were selling the radio side of the business to Entercom, and I was the last one to join our team of three developers. So in between Thanksgiving and Christmas I and a few dozen coworkers got an early lump of coal.

I couldn’t have known at the time, but that layoff was the best thing that could have happened.

I immediately went into job search mode. Because of that I found a really good reason to do something I had always wanted to do; kick the Facebook habit. I was already down to only checking once or twice a day, and posting at roughly the same rate. Compared to some of the extremes since joining in 2005, it was already pretty close to the bottom of my historic range.

When I took an on-site interview in January for a contract web development job with Publishers Clearing House, I posted on Facebook for what I think was one of the last times. I got the job, but hesitated to rejoin partially because I completely avoided anything social media-related at work. I liked my new position, and didn’t want to risk it for anything. Another concern I remember was that it was my first time not being salaried in quite awhile, and that had me a little scared.

Many developers will tell you about crippling self-doubt, more commonly known as “imposter syndrome.” We see amazing technology daily, and more than most we interact with it on both regular and very intimate bases. Then we see our own code and wonder why anyone would even pay us.

The truth is most developers don’t “luck” their way into a job. Maybe some, but I’ve interviewed people for positions I used to hold. If you get hired, you’re doing a lot right. Even more so I think it’s because a lot of managers and leaders in tech don’t know how to give regular, meaningful feedback. If they do, they certainly don’t take the time generally. So when the only person judging you is yourself, it’s hard to know where to set your expectations.

On top of all that Nicole and I decided this was a strong enough role for me that she could dive head first into the world of calligraphy and stationery. With both of us changing so much so quickly, and still three months away from a full two years in NYC, I just didn’t feel like I had much to share online about our day-to-day lives.

That may seem counter-intuitive—having so much changing and nothing to say—but since Nicole and I first met on a blind date at an Aggie game in November 2002 we have generally been heavy on dreams and light on execution. Actually moving our entire lives to New York was out of character for our “plans” vs. our “execution.” So much so that one person actually told us that while she had supported our plan in theory, she didn’t actually believe it would happen until we pulled up with a loaded Penske truck and our three cats.

So much so that one person actually told us that while she had supported our plan in theory, she didn’t actually believe it would happen until we pulled up with a loaded Penske truck and our three cats.

Did I get that right, Nana? ❤️

About halfway through my contract I had to think about what would happen if I wasn’t offered either an extension or a permanent role. I had the opportunity to interview with (spoiler) my current employer, The Shade Store. Before bouncing from job to job in NYC, I had been at Bryan Broadcasting just over ten years. At the time I imagined myself at Publishers Clearing House for at least that long again, so figuring out why I should stay put or to move yet again was difficult.

It would have been easy to leave them if I had a terrible experience; but it wasn’t… and I hadn’t. The only explanation I could offer my team that resembled a logical reason was Nicole and I had come to New York to explore the unknown. Even though I had only been with Publishers Clearing House out on Long Island for five months, I knew them better than I did The Shade Store in Port Chester across the river from Greenwich, Connecticut. So I changed jobs yet again.

Even with the whirlwind employment situation, we’ve found ourselves in a very good place. The Shade Store continues to expand into new territory, providing plenty of “unknowns” to keep me engaged. Nicole keeps exploring new artistic competencies and endeavors, and hasn’t found a dissatisfied client yet.

Still, I’m not certain that the social network I joined in 2005 has aged as well as I have. I miss a lot of the connections and people there, but that’s because of the people, not the application. So I’d like to reconnect with everyone, but I’m doing that on my terms. I’m really good at socializing. Ask Nicole what an average trip to a local bar is like. Meeting new people is very much in line with “mapping the unknown.”

Part of that mapping, though, is knowing where you’ve been and where you’d like to return. Close family and old friends hold a lot of value because of all the territory you’ve explored together. Your shared experiences are rich and powerful. They provide a valuable foundation when your world starts shaking. Abandoning a social application because our world was rapidly changing seems counter-intuitive. Nicole and I made it through those tough times with the support of each other, calls to family, and private conversations with close friends.

Truth is I don’t want a social network, I want friends and family. And that’s exactly what I’m determined to rediscover.